Are you that Clueless
by Yolanda Bush
Summary: Mark and Derek chat in a bar which leads to a long conversation about none other than Mark being torn between Lexie and Julia. What will the conversation bring mark to do? and which one will he chose?
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE INFORMED OF INFORMATION FROM EPISODE 23 OF SEASON 8 GREY'S ANATOMY.  
If you do wish to and haven't read already, episode 23 titled "Migration" in the synopsis there is a sentence which says that Mark talks to Derek about his torn feelings for Lexie, who he still loves, and Julia, his little Lexie-clone who can give him everything he wants. (I added the Lexie clone part ) And so here is the way I hope that the episode will go, or along the lines of something like this.Chapter one: Bar Talk

Mark Sloan sat at a bar stool in, the famous hangout of the Seattle Grace Mercy West staff, Joe's bar. He'd ordered himself a scotch and was slowly sipping at the chilled liquor, occasionally stopping to swish it around in the glass. He didn't want to go home right now. It'd been a relatively long day at work and the last thing he wanted to do was go sit in his apartment with Julia. The reason being because he was he was torn. Torn over the fact that he still had unresolved feelings for Lexie. He'd been trying to hide them ever since they broke up but he couldn't any longer. He was tired of this relationship he had with Lexie. He couldn't say that he ever loved anyone the way he loved her. When they're apart she's always in his head, but when they're together he constantly is afraid of losing her. He'd hurt her so many times in the past that he didn't want to risk doing the same thing to her. He loved her too much to put her through all this misery.

When he said he'd missed her he expected her to pull away like she'd always done in the past but this time…She agreed. He knew that had to mean something, right? It meant that she still loved him too? Of course she did. He had a feeling no matter what they'd always have feelings for each other. He wished he could go back to the first time, when Lexie had shown up to his apartment unexpectedly. That was the moment he knew he couldn't resist anymore. He'd told everyone that it was just sex at the moment to cover up the fact that he actually wanted to be with her for more than that. But the truth was that they'd stayed together for hours afterwards laughing and talking. He'd never connected with anyone like that before.

He wished he could go back to that and do it all over again. So he could keep her from getting hurt. And maybe if he had they'd still be together now. As he sat pondering the subject for several minutes, staring into space, Derek Shepherd walked into the bar and sat next to his old friend.

He ordered a drink before turning to greet Mark. "Hi," He said with a smile.

"What're you so happy for?" Mark retorted nastily, finishing off his scotch.

"Well why _**aren't **_you happy?" Derek asked emphatically.

"To tell you the truth I've kinda got a problem on my hands I'm trying to deal with," He responded looking up at Derek from his slouched forward posture.

"Oh and how's that going?" Derek smirked.

"Not great," Mark said shaking his head. Derek laughed a little at this and then told Mark to elaborate if he wanted.

"I need another first. Hit me again," Mark told the bartended holding his empty glass up.

"I bet I can guess what it is," Derek said with his eyebrows raised enthusiastically, "Wanna make a bet? A scotch for the winner." He joked, laughing out loud to further annoy Mark.

"I'm being serious here Derek." He whined.

"I know you are. I can just tell in that pretty little face of yours that it's woman trouble. And I can do you one better by saying that Julia isn't the _**only **_woman involved in these troubles." Derek said cleverly, pausing to wait for Mark's response.

"Oh why don't you just go home to your perfect wife and baby Derek? You know I'd kill for your life! That's all I ever wanted, was a nice family to come home to every night but I had to screw it up like I do to everything else. Now I've got one daughter who's almost an adult that's out of my life, a baby with my best friend and her girlfriend that I can't have the kind of father daughter relationship that I want. I'll never get to be the kind of Dad to Sofia that I want. I want to have a baby with a woman that I love and want to marry." Mark raved.

"Well I can't help you there," Derek responded calmly. "But may I just add that my life is far from perfect, it's just in a good stable place momentarily. So don't go jinxing it for me Mark."

"Yeah sorry." Mark said. "It's just that I've always been jealous of you. When you started your life with Meredith I was jealous and I pushed Lexie because I wanted that with her, and I was ready for that with her but she wasn't and that's the reason I lost her. Now I have Julia and she seems perfect, I mean I could really see myself having all I ever wanted with her. I think she could just be that girl that could give me everything I want but my judgment is clouded. And it's clouded with her."

"Who?" Derek said, losing where Mark was going.

"Lexie," Mark answered in shame.

Derek laughed again, but this wasn't a mocking laugh. It was more of a 'I knew it' kind of chuckle. "She's the woman you loved Mark. I can see why you'd be scared to let go of her forever but maybe it's what you need to do."

"How can you say that?" Mark quickly fired back, "You and Meredith's relationship was doomed from the start and you never let go. You loved her and so you stood by her. Is it such a shame that I wanted that with Lexie? She was perfect Derek. She was everything to me and I screwed that up because that's all I am, a lousy screw-up."

"Don't beat yourself up with this Mark," Derek calmed him and grabbed his shoulder. He let out a sigh and glanced around the room before speaking again. "Alright I wasn't going to say anything to you because this is Lexie's problem and it was one she needed to solve on her own. Trust me this isn't something I normally do. I don't help other people with relationships. I just think that's stupid but you're my friend and I want you to be happy and make the right decision and Lexie is my sister and I just want her to be happy as well because she isn't. I'm not telling you what to do with this information but I just want you to know about it. The day Meredith left for her boards I was home alone with Zola when Lexie got back from work. She sat next to me and told me that she misses you; and that you said you missed her too. And you think she still loves Jackson but she doesn't and she tried to tell you that but you didn't listen. She tries to tell you that she still loves you but she can never get it out. She said that and she cried. She cried over you like she does all the time Mark. You've turned her insane. She can't love anyone else but you Mark. It's eating her up inside." He took a swig of his drink with the end of his words. They both sat in silence for a while. Mark obviously stunned and trying to take it all in.

"She said all that?" Mark asked the rhetorical question.

"That and more. I had to talk to her for an hour that night before she'd finally stopped crying. I know you think that you broke up and that was the end of it but it isn't Mark. She can't cope with it. This is Lexie, Lexie is a fiery pit of endless girly emotions. It's like a volcano. They just erupt all at once with her." Derek spoke further.

"It just wouldn't be fair to her Derek. I'm thinking of her. I love her and I'd do anything to be with her but I can't deny the fact that I could never be fully satisfied if she didn't want the things I did. She's said it herself, nothing's changed, and we both want different things. She's more concerned with surgery right now than with settling down and having a family and I get that. She's young, but I'm not. I'm getting older and if I don't do this now I may never get the chance. I want to get married, I want to buy a real house, and I want a house full of kids and a dog and everything that comes with having a family. I never got to have a real family. You were the closest thing to family for me. This is my chance to make up for all of that," Mark tried to explain.

This made Derek guffaw uncontrollably.

"How is all of this funny to you!" Mark roared in anger.

"It's funny because you're so clueless. I've seen the way Lexie holds my baby, she might deny it now, but she wants kids. She wants a husband. And I believe she wants all of that with _you._ For some reason or another."

Mark held his head in his hands and said quietly, "I really am clueless,"

Derek lifted up his sleeve and looked down at his watch. "Lucky for you her shift ends in ten minutes,"

Mark jerked up and stared at his best friend, "Are you saying I should?"

"I'm saying it's your life Mark. So make what you want of it. But this is your shot. I have a pretty good idea which choice you want to make. So make it. Go woe her back to you," Derek said, somewhat disappointed in himself, but in a way happy that he could help.

"Thanks Der, I owe you big time," Mark patted his shoulder as he stood up.

Derek nodded and signaled the bartender for another as Mark left the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

Mark ran. He started running and he never stopped. He sprinted all the way back to the hospital parking lot. Was he really doing this? Was this really real? He was with Julia. He had something good right now…Yes, something good. But he didn't have Lexie…Lexie was something great. And they could be great together. Maybe third time's the charm. Maybe this time they could make it work…For good. Mark had made his mistakes, Lexie had made hers. And now that they were done making mistakes….Maybe that meant they were done being apart. And his mind wasn't thinking straight right now but he knew that this was right. And even if they didn't get together, he at least needed to talk to her.

Mark finally stopped when he reached to edge of the parking lot and bent over to atch his breath. Then he started up again, fast walking instead of jogging now. He scanned the entire lot as he walked, his eyes moving back and rapidly as he searched like a mad man. Finally his eyes landed on her. She had just exited the doors and was now walking towards her car.

She was wearing a brown jacket and jeans with a pair of heels boots. Her purse was over her shoulder as she pulled out her keys, all the while not noticing that Mark was only two rows of cars away from her, watching her . Her long, brown hair was pulled back into a sleek yet sloppy bun and er face was washed clean of any make-up from the day. She seemed to glow…To illuminate in the darkness that was being brightened by the outdoor lights. She looked perfect. Even when she didn't try she looked perfect… And she was perfect.

He stood and smiled a quick naughty grin in the corner of his mouth and then commenced walking towards her.

"Lexie!" He exclaimed from behind her.

She turned around with a surprised look on her face that dropped into a smile as she recognized who it was. "Hey Mark. What's up?" She asked, with a puzzled look now, wondering what he could possibly need from her. He just kept walking closer to her though, avoiding her question. He had a strange look upon his face. A wayward and mischievous look. It made Lexie uncomfortable at first as she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Ca…Can I help you with something Mark...Do…Do you have a…A case or something?" She asked pointing towards the door and doing that silly rambling and stuttering thing she usually does when she gets nervous. "Is there something I can…" She started again but Mark cut her off as he approached her stopping right in front of her. He was rather close, too close for comfort, plunging Lexie further into a state of unease.

"Don't talk," He said, shaking his head no, staring deeply into her eyes, giving a light smile at her. Lexie tried to look away wondering what the hell was going on. Mark moved his face closer to hers again. They were so close that their lips were nearly touching. Lexie closed her eyes, her breathing quickened. What was he doing? Was he insane? Was he drunk? This couldn't be real.

"Mar..." She tried to speak again, this time in a whisper but Mark interrupted again.

"No…Don't," Mark said, closing his eyes as well. He then pushed his hands through her hair, cradling her head as he kissed her. This was like Déjà vu but to the time at Joe's when he pulled the same stunt. Was it enough to work this time though? Lexie hadn't pulled away, in fact she reached her hands out and wrapped them around Mark, pulling herself closer to him. For a moment they stopped and just lingered on each other's lips, breathing in the sweet breath of the other person. Lexie could feel the prickly goose bumps that had formed all over Mark's arms and Mark could feel the Lexie shaking with adrenaline. Both of their hearts were racing….This was what love felt like.

Mark kissed her again, feeling the smooth contours of silky face. And Lexie felt the bristly stubble on Mark's face. She felt like she could just melt. Melt right into his arms. He was so warm and it just felt so right. It felt like it was meant to be.

Mark pulled his lips back and opened his eyes to look at her. She slowly parted her eyelids, her long lashes batting as she did so. Her eyes and her smile said everything. She did still love him. Everything Derek had said was true. He knew deep down in his heart they would always end up together no matter what they put each other through. That was why it was meant to be. Their love was so strong. Strong enough to last through an atomic war. Even with its ups and downs it always ends victorious. Was this their victory? Was this the start of their happy ending? Neither one could read the other's minds but on the inside they both hoped so.

Lexie now reached forward and wrapped her arms around Mark's neck and laid her head on his shoulder. Her warm, sticky breath coated Mark's bare neck in the frigid night. He maneuvered so that his chin was nestled in the nook between Lexie's head and shoulder as he held her around the waist. They slowly rocked back and forth, not talking just cherished each other for as long as they could. And the silence was good. They could both think. They could both think of what this really meant, but instead they're visions were clouded. All they wanted to think of was staying in this moment forever.

But Lexie finally moved her head back. Tears were in her eyes and her lips were quivering. "Mark?" She said his name, almost like a question.

"Yeah?" He answered back, smiling. He reached his thumb to her face and wicked away the fallen tears.

"What does this mean?" She asked, waiting patiently for his answer.

A little cackle of laughter escaped from Mark. He hated to ruin the emotional moment but it was funny to him that she couldn't already tell.

"It means that I choose you."


	3. Chapter 3

Lexie and Mark fumbled in through the front door to her house. After Lexie and Mark had kissed and made-up in the parking lot they had gone over to Joe's and had two or three drinks together, letting time fly by as they chatted and mingled like old times. It had been a long awkward drive of silence over but now it was over. It was nearly 2 am when they'd walked into the house, trying to be as quiet as possible as they journeyed up to Lexie's attic room in the complete dark, kissing passionately in the process. At the bottom of the stairs Mark pulled Lexie's jacket off and let it fall to the ground, resting on the floor right before the last stair.

Then the two proceeded with caution up the stairs, all the while still intimately kissing in the dark, until they reached the top of the stairs and were into Lexie's room. Now Lexie had Mark's jacket off and carelessly threw it behind her. Mark walked Lexie backwards and then set her down on the bed. Lexie unbuttoned Mark's shirt, slowly, one button at a time. Mark stared at her through the dark with a smile and then proceeded to unzip his pants and kick them off. He leaned forward and kissed Lexie some more as they both sat up straight on Lexie's full sized mattress. Mark pulled Lexie's shirt over her head, revealing her sexy, laced bra. She shook her hair out of its bun at that moment and then wrapped her arms around his neck. As they began to kiss again Lexie gasped for breath in between their mouths touching. Her face began to burn from rubbing against his scraggily beard that was growing back then pushed her back so that she was laying flat and helped her out of her jeans. They clumsily fumbled underneath the covers. Mark got on top of Lexie, but Lexie quickly pushed him over and remounted herself on top.

"Not so fast Tiger," She fiercely said in an arousing, so to say "bedroom" voice.

"Not so fast for you either. Last time we did this position too fast you nearly castrated me," Mark joked about the time Lexie had be to source of his penile fracture.

They both laughed and then Lexie stole another kiss before they began.


End file.
